Tankar
tinna | 2 oktober, 2007Det blir aldrig som man har tänkt sig.
Det är väl tur det.
Sorgen gör sig inte längre påmind varje minut och jag är lättare.
Jag flyter med och släpper kontrollen.
Jag låter livet levas och bestämmer mig för att inte styra.
Hon väntar på mig, jag väntar på henne.
Under tiden lever jag, andas, njuter och skrattar.
Jag vet att livet aldrig blir som man har tänkt sig.
Det är okej.
Tårarna gör mig starkare.
Jag tömmer min bitterhet och fylls åter av lugn och stillhet.
Jag vet att allt är som det ska vara.
Det är meningen.
Jag bestämmer mig för att minnas det fina.
Hon är det bästa som har hänt mig.
Det underbaraste och det mest fruktansvärda.
Jag är lycklig.
Jag är lycklig att jag känner.
Låter mig känna alla känslor.
Då lever jag.
Jag är lyckligt lottad.
Jag är älskad av mina älskade.
Fallet kändes högt men jag landade mjukt.
Mina bitar plockas upp av syster.
Hon lägger ihop mig. Så många gånger som det behövs.
Jag hittar tillbaka.
Tillbaka till leendet.
Jag ser klarare.
Allt är plötsligt glasklart.
Jag slutar vara rädd.
Jag slutar vara något som jag inte är.
Jag klär av mig allt som inte känns rätt.
Jag lämnar det ointressanta och letar efter min väg.
Han följer med.
Han känner likadant.
Vi går på samma väg.
Jag hoppas det går bra!
/ tinna 2 okt-07
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